Tuna takes a licking

Mind you, I enjoy tuna as much as the next guy (unless it is in a noodle casserole). Grilled tuna steaks? Yum. If I’m at a sushi bar, I’m all over the tuna sushi roll. And I consider a nice tuna sandwich and a bottle of orange soda one of life’s great simple pleasures.

Still, I have not been so moved by tuna that I have felt compelled to lick it. Not even when I’m on vacation.

Alas, the incident is only mentioned in passing, so I cannot gauge the depth of this particular problem. But it raises many questions, such as:

• Was the licking an isolated incident or were there repeated offenses? If you are caught licking a tuna, is jail time involved? Can tourists be deported because of it?

• Are there support groups for recovering tuna lickers?

• The auction displays hundreds of frozen tuna; has anyone attempting to lick one found to their dismay that their tongue has frozen to the unfortunate tuna?

The good news is that the auction is again open to tourists. All auction officials ask is that the tourists keep a civil tongue in their heads.

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