How best to spend your Mega Millions?

Not that my odds of winning (or yours) are great. According to USA Today, you are 3.76 times more likely to be killed by fireworks this year, 9 times more likely to die from having a TV fall on your noggin, and 176 times more likely to be struck by lightning this year than you are to win the jackpot.

That’s a little morbid, isn’t it, USA Today? How about the odds of, say, dating a super model? The odds are long that it could happen to any of us, but it’s certainly more pleasant to contemplate.

What if a fisherman wins the jackpot? What could a fisherman do with $640 million? Here are some humble suggestions.

• Start up a company that will conduct annual stock assessments for every U.S. fishery. Congress appears either unwilling to or is incapable of providing NMFS with funds to do so. Industry generated assessments might prove a better way to go.

• Set up a nationwide network of fishermen-friendly banks that could offer small-boat fishermen quota to lease at a reasonable market rate, enabling them to compete with larger, more well-heeled fishing operations. The banks could also help young fishermen enter the industry.

• You could buy up a humongous supply of diesel fuel, and probably get a volume discount to boot. That would allow you to provide your fellow fishermen with reasonably priced fuel, allowing them to leave the docks, fill their holds with fish, and actually turn a profit for their catch.

That’s just the tip of the iceberg for ideas, and I’m sure you have many more. But allow me to offer one more suggestion — I saved the best for last.

• Purchase lifetime subscriptions of National Fisherman for every U.S. fisherman. You can ensure that all your comrades in fish will have their very own copy of their favorite fishing magazine year after year, and for surprisingly little money. You’d still have plenty left over to wine and dine your favorite super model. Trust me, your odds of dating a super model become significantly better if you win Mega Millions.

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