Really, Exxon? Really?
Fans of “Saturday Night Live” may be familiar with the news anchors’ segment “Really?”
The gag is that they make ridiculous statements based on ridiculous current events and then ask the scathing rhetorical question, “Really?”
In the Exxon Valdez case, it would go something like this: So you just got your court-awarded damages reduced to one-tenth of the original amount, and now you REALLY want to make sure you get to keep the interest you’ve accrued on funds that are not and never were rightly yours while your legal team kept the fishermen whose livelihoods you’ve ruined at arm’s length? REALLY?
Is Scott Boras on the Exxon legal team?
If you’re not a baseball fan (and I use that word in its original sense, because you would have to be a fanatic to follow Alex Rodriguez’s contract negotiations), then you may not know that Boras was A-Rod’s agent until recently. He’s the one who got him the biggest deal in baseball history and then followed up with a hissy fit last year, which he pitched on the opening night of the Red Sox (read: A-Rod and the Yanks’ biggest rivals) and Rockies World Series.
It was as if Boras couldn’t stand to be out of the limelight, no matter how much it made him and his client look like complete jerks. (There are lots of words I would have preferred to use there, but I don’t want your Internet filter to keep you from coming to our site.)
Sound familiar? Only in Boras’ case, he was only taking money from Major League Baseball, where there’s plenty to go around.
Meanwhile, the Exxon lawyers are doing their best to be the Anti-Robin Hoods.
The greed in professional sports is nauseating. Exxon’s is downright sickening.
Cut the checks already.